the good and bad of tiktok

letter #5

If someone were to build a time machine to bring a pilgrim to the future, TikTok would be what would break them. It is incredible to think that an app that was laughed at and mocked just a few years ago now pretty much rules the world. I remember when I first joined TikTok back in 2019. The renegade was at its height. Mariah Carey’s “Obsessed” played in every other video I scrolled on. The first TikTok I ever shared with someone was of a guy making fun of a virus taking place in China because it sounded like a popular beer brand. We laughed at it then, not knowing the word Coronavirus would completely transform our lives in the next year. 

I’ve been thinking about TikTok a lot. Mostly because I spend A LOT of time on there. I’m going to assume everyone reading this knows how addicting it can be. I checked my screen time for this past week; my average for each day was 4 hours and 43 minutes. I also opened the app a total of 100 times. Based on those numbers, I think it’s safe to say that I have fallen victim to TikTok’s ruthless grasp. Although forming an addiction to an app is not the healthiest thing for us, there are a lot of great things to come from this mind-numbing black hole. This week, I want to lay out some of my thoughts on the good sides and bad sides of TikTok and how it has transformed society regardless. 

For the rest of the letter, I am speaking about my personal experiences with my relationship with TikTok but, I think we can all agree that the popularization of TikTok has brought significant consequences. Before I joined TikTok, I was not nearly as aware of what the rest of the world was up to, but now, whether I like it or not, I am aware of it all the time. There are millions of unsolicited life stories that happen on my for you page (fyp). As much as these stories can be entertaining or inspirational, they also remind me of everything that I don’t have. “The everyday life of _____” TikToks remind me of how I don’t have my perfect job or my ideal body or live in the best city. Someone I didn’t even know existed a few seconds ago has a better life than me apparently. After scanning through picture-perfect portrayals of life for hours, it leaves me wanting more but wanting it fast. It seems so simple for the people in the videos, but not for me. A lot of my insecurities in the past year have come from comparing myself to people I see on TikTok. I’ve fallen for the magic tricks that creators perform in their videos, ones where in thirty seconds or less, their lives appear so simplistic you can’t help but wonder why yours isn't too. 

I want to bring attention back to the amount of time I spend on TikTok. Almost five hours out of my day, I am sucked into a bottomless pit of everything happening all at once. It feels so routine at this point, when there is downtime, pull out TikTok. When I’m bored, I’ll watch a few videos which turn into a few hours. When I am avoiding a task, I’ll tell myself I can watch two videos before starting, but I always end up watching way more than that. After a certain point, it feels almost as if I have lost all self-control. I no longer have enough disciple to stop what I am doing. I watch videos while my mental and physical health suffers. I know my engagement with the app is unhealthy when I can’t imagine life without it- and that’s a lot of the time. My screentime has driven me to become dependent on the escape provided so conveniently to me. Sometimes, I forget that the world inside my phone is not the same one that I live on. I forget that the one I live on is more important. 

Tiktok’s effect is not all negative, though. I’m specifically referencing here what it did for me and others during the pandemic. During that time, the world shut down but I never felt alone. I felt the same sadness, worry, and pain that everyone else on the app was feeling. We were all living completely different lives yet we all had the pandemic in common and that was comforting. When the pandemic first started, I still lived at home with my parents and sister. With my sister and I both being over 18, there were four very different adults living under one roof. We were basically roommates over family at that point, constantly fighting over house rules and boundaries.

My sister and I were both glued to TikTok most days. At first, separately in our rooms. We didn’t speak to each other. This eventually turned into us sending TikToks to each other from across the hall. I would send her a funny TikTok that reminded me of our parents and three seconds later, I could hear faint laughter from her room. Finally, we crept out of our living quarters to start filming TikTok dances together. We even left upstairs, where both of our rooms were, to make TikTok coffee in the kitchen. We were actually spending time together, being silly, and enjoying ourselves at a time that was really awful. 

I have had some serious laughs from TikTok. I think that’s probably the best part of the app; how unserious it can be. We get to experience random snips of life happening across the world and as overwhelming as that can sound, it can also be a really good time. I have (re)discovered so many cool people on TikTok: Brittany Broski, CinemaJoe, WhiteGlawGabe, averagefashionbblogger, Hank Green, Meghan Trainor, and my boyfriend! I have also found amazing artists, life hacks, advice, and places to go on this app. Certain videos and creators can make life feel a little more digestible day to day. 

Because of TikTok, I have definitely lost some brain cells BUT I gained community, education, and lots of laughter. There’s a fine line between a healthy amount of use and becoming totally absorbed and I still haven’t found that line yet. And deep down, I still want to be a TikTok star.

Keke Palmer announcing her Pregnancy on SNL: I mean, does this really need any explanation? Keke is such an icon and she solidified that fact with her monologue and pregnancy announcement.

Armchair Expert: Something you all will learn very soon is that I live off podcasts and this one has been added to the list. I have dipped in and out of listening to this podcast but recently, they have added some really cool segments that have been interesting to listen to. Along with the regularly scheduled armchair expert episode each week, a segment called Flightless Bird comes out right alongside it. It is all about a New Zealander new to America trying to understand Americans and it’s great. Really humbling experience to listen to it every week.

Texas Christmas decorations: There is something special about Christmas in Texas. Of course, we have to make the whole entire holiday about us with cowboy Santas and cowboy nutcrackers, and lone star ornaments. It’s so cheesy but I EAT IT UP. It’s not Christmas unless my grandparents have their 3-foot Santa dressed in blue jeans and boots singing “Deep in the Heart of Texas”.

And of course, the weekly Obi Cam, this week he is giving us sass:

That’s all I have for this week. Thank you so much for being here.

Over and out,